Blurry Sunday....(not in this particular moment)

 Well It was not bloody, but definitely not clear...still what I want to achieve and how I want to present next week myself in Performing Picnic Festival as a dancer, mover, an artist, or just like a simple human being who just like to keep her days, body and mind creative... just a person who likes her silly dance....

My whole week was excited and very anxious..I was working every day, reading, exploring for the next movement project, and still after being in the studio for two hours I just started to cry, scream, but not for Ice cream:) again, silly joke, one of mine... I could not hold my balance today easily, and yesterday I did almost perfectly acro yoga with my friend Lovro...I really can not count on next day, I can just try and again, give my best...However, after I had my moment, I just started to dance, for my next performance and suddenly everything was so clear and I could catch the moment, like, YES I want that movement, I want that feeling, I want to achieve this turn, balance, greatness,... I really had everything what I want in a few minutes...and then again...everything's gone...:) what a beauty of the moment, right...and this is only what we can ever have, or catch...just the moment...we are made for longing that moment, everyone, everyone, everyone,...we are all in traces...looking for the leftovers to be grateful for them,..yeah..

my mind is in a kind of strange currents....

...but If I am starting from that moment...this grateful moment will be now, when I am writing that blog on my big terrace on the rooftop in Ljubljana, where I am doing my residency, where I am trying to be a "great artist"...what does it mean anyway? I do not want to be that, I just want to be creative every day, inspired, enjoy my terrace covered with countless gray shades of clouds, it is perfect outdoor temperature, 28 degrees, no wind, no sun, no cold, just a silky and airy warm temperature around and between my body...so nurturing for the skin and mind...and drinking my afternoon coffee...what else could I have in this moment? a beautiful turn, wonderful second position, amazing handstand, stunning facial expression?? well, no...not in this particular moment...I have this what I need to have in this moment....and breath of course, my gentle guide of my emotion, bones, thoughts, glands, physical body,...

let's just stay here...


SOLA/SOMA is my looong journey...Appeared 2015 with my emotional, social, existential crisis and she is still here, but in a different body, in a different mind, in a different package. She is phenomenological and metamorphic, change is her ongoing process and real companion, she is stubborn but so fragile, she is kind but if she need to express kind of less plausible emotion she will become superior, obsessed, ambitious,..you do not want to meet that part of her..or you want? she suffered a lot, but she knows the value of life, of meaning of love and friendship, depth of sadness, danger of isolation and auto destructiveness. She is like a one of Kafka's main novella protagonist in Metamorphosis who wakes up one morning and find herself in a different mental condition, transformed into something she do not recognize within herself, and subsequently she struggles to adjust to this new condition. 


let's just stay here...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Blurry Woman Dancing on a White Backdrop Stock Photo - Image of light, dancer: 73174586






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