sandramove.blogspot.com

 Well It was not bloody, but definitely not clear...still what I want to achieve and how I want to present next week myself in Performing Picnic Festival as a dancer, mover, an artist, or just like a simple human being who just like to keep her days, body and mind creative... just a person who likes her silly dance.... My whole week was excited and very anxious..I was working every day, reading, exploring for the next movement project, and still after being in the studio for two hours I just started to cry, scream, but not for Ice cream:) again, silly joke, one of mine... I could not hold my balance today easily, and yesterday I did almost perfectly acro yoga with my friend Lovro...I really can not count on next day, I can just try and again, give my best...However, after I had my moment, I just started to dance, for my next performance and suddenly everything was so clear and I could catch the moment, like, YES I want that movement, I want that feeling, I want to achieve this turn...

         for today... What kind of dialog I can develop with my 'material' in the SPACE? support, breath, the moment, the smell, the touch, the look, the sense, small detail, the look again, finger, physicality, sensual moment, exhale, exhale, core support, push, pull, extend, hold, retain, contract, inhale, strike a pose, be at the moment, grounded, easy, power, inhale,.....exist at this moment, balance, not doing, just observing, feeling inflexible, perception, location, transcending the moment, flying, stay still, smile, exhale,...negotiate...receive...surrender...being brave..failing, falling,  failing,...embrace all that...move with courage... recognition...acceptance...lightness...heaviness..direction...slow...fast...forward...down, backward, up.. New Moon in Leo corresponds with COURAGE!!      

   DO not judge any creative process!! Everything is fine, whatever you do on your journey. "Always trust your material"... this morning I got a beautiful, inspiring and encouraging (just when I really needed) message from my dear mentor, critical friend and now colleague Dr. Helen Kindred. This week was really strange, I did ariel yoga, acro movement, yin yoga, modern dance, improvisation, a bit of a ballet, yoga, stretch,. simple walk..and still I was so confused with that what I want to achieve, to many information in my head, to many observation, and in the end of the working week, this morning I was done with my "working material", and then suddenly the message comes. I am so grateful to the Universe when that things happen, when I can rely on simple and strong friends message. It is so good to have that kind people around myself. Today I found interesting quote from Nestroy, I was actually looking something from L. Wittgenstein from Philosophical Investigation...

  The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.”Martha Graham I am get to be me for this life time...No one else will be in my body ever. Only me.

     My 'material', my body, me as a performer...we all need one thing, and that is written down there. Just a simple word, with a deep meaning, connected to our whole body, dimensional movement, breathing, gravity, positive thoughts...all is connected, you can not escape it, only if you are irrational, otherwise this is the first thing, even before you take the proper breath, this is actually happening - THE AWARENESS! When you work with the conscious movement, you can not really escape this word and his meaning. Awareness is all around you, you just need to recognize it and want it...and when you embrace it...then other things pop up immediately, focus on breath,  trust, intuition, neuroplasticity,  connection with the space we are in (in or out), mirroring, flooding of senses, emotions, creativity... I am also bringing focus on breath...considering two moments in association with INHALATION (bulging) and EXHALATION (hollowing), or 360 degrees belly breathing ...

   I am entering the studio...what to do? how to start the practice? From where is the best start?I am so confused, frustrated, judging myself like how is possible I do not know what to do and how I should start... sometimes I am really hard on myself... this sounds like a real obsession.. I am working with the body and movement...so it should be easy for me to enter every day into an idea, but the thing is that, sometimes I just stuck even when I am full of ideas and really every beginning is hard, and mostly the time I do not know what I am doing, and why I am doing... Beginnings are always like that, insecure, a bit in a fog, thoughts wondering around, and maybe the only one thing can help and that is that you are really start from the beginning, from the scratches, from the pure breath. Every bloody day. This breath could be your tour guide on your movement journey, architect of your pelvic floor and your upper part of the body; maybe can release us of some blockage and sh...

   Pare it down and you’ve got two things left: ground and space. Ground is any object in the universe that has mass. Any object that has mass exerts a gravitational pull, or force, on every other mass. As far as gravity is concerned, humans are objects right along with refrigerators, and cars. It’s all a matter a perspective./Bruce Fertman  Out of touch. Unaffected. Unmoved. Numb. Left cold. Removed. Language surrounding apathy takes form as a lifelessness. Does then the answer to apathy lie in liveliness, in animation? I would like to consider the opposite: that in fact developing a response to apathy involves going deep into lifelessness, into the inanimate, and finding a curious bond with life there./Thinking touch in Partnering and Contact Improvisation-Brandon Calejja Show   Challenging both the mind-body split and the prioritisation of vision over touch, Merleau-Ponty’s phenomenology endeavour...